4. our shared agreements
Resident name(s): __ Date: _
We value critical analysis and constructive feedback, and seek to support each other in being the best versions of ourselves. At times this will involve difficult truths, and other times finding new positive ones. We ask you to bring intention to your interactions in our community, and to give and receive with compassion.
At times you may find yourself in conflict with someone(s) in the community. This is natural. We ask that you be open to a conflict resolution process if needed or requested by another member of the community, including mediation by a trusted 3rd party. Our goal is to collectively bring a posture of learning, self-improvement and mutual support to conflict.
principles of being together
The following are values around how we approach communication, and strive to balance integrity with progress. They are here to set expectations for you and for us, and to give you some litmus tests, based on our experience, for what we feel to be healthy and generative ways of being with each other. These will and should continue to evolve over time. Let us know what you think about them!
No Generalizations Though we may observe and discuss generalizations, we always treat and communicate with each other as individuals. No conversations should be off limits: We seek to name emotional reactions and separate them from analysis. Both are equally valid, but it is difficult to process both at once without a “tyranny of sensitivity” where specific topics become taboo due to unnamed emotional triggers. This takes practice.
Trust & Good Intent Assume non-violence on the part of another and when your experience doesn’t match this, use communication to reconcile your experience with their intentions. It is difficult to co-habitate with others if we can't give them the benefit of the doubt. If you find yourself unable to do that, it might be a good opportunity to seek mediation from a 3rd party in your community. If you notice that you’re unable to do that with the majority of people you are living with, it may also be the case that you’re not in a productive and generative environment for you.
Action We acknowledge that sometimes we need to go through emotional processing in order to be optimal actors, but our bias is towards action as the end goal.
Diversity We see learning and an openness to change as a requisite component of intellectual rigor and integrity. While we are always striving live our values, ultimately we value a diversity of people and perspectives over operating 100% in line with a specific set of values at all times.
We are really excited for you to be joining as a resident in our community and we look forward to being a part of your journey. If you have any questions about this document, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.
We are committed to building a supportive and self-reflective culture around sex, romance, and intimate relationships rooted in mutual respect, communication, and consent. In our community, and in the state of California, yes means yes. This means that if you want to touch someone, you need to get an explicit 'yes' from them. A ‘maybe’ or silence, or even a 'yes' under persuasion, does not count as consent and will be treated as a consent violation in our community. We encourage you to read our full consent and safe space policies (link) and note that by entering into our community we request that you heed these cultural norms. These may be different from those you are used to, so feel free to discuss them with people in the house!
We celebrate differences, including different races, gender identities, languages, and philosophical perspectives. We also celebrate free speech, curiosity, and spirited inquiry, but expect that people and their differences will be treated with respect and generosity. If someone communicates that they are feeling unsafe or disrespected, we ask that you be open to hearing that, and to attempt to modify your behavior appropriately. If you are made to feel unsafe, please immediately contact a resident or other individual with whom you feel comfortable.
Anyone who is not respecting others’ boundaries or not following our community’s consent practices will be asked modify their behaviour. If they are unable or unwilling to do so, or continue to make others feel unsafe, they will be asked to leave.
rent & leaving the embassy sf
Room prices are per room, and utility and board prices are per person. Utilities are $XXX/month per person.
We use automated monthly payments. You acknowledge that room rent plus utilities and board for all parties will be automatically charged to your bank account each month, on the last day of the preceding month.
If you fail to pay rent on time more than twice in a row with no clear plan for remedy, you may be asked to leave the community in order to ensure its financial viability. This would be independent of our care for you as an individual.
You agree to provide at least one month’s notice for moving out.
Please ensure that you understand the extent (or absence) of liability and/or renter’s insurance provided (or not) by our community. You are always encouraged to consider obtaining your own personal renter’s insurance.
In order to be explicit and have a shared understanding, please note that there are certain known circumstances under which an individual may be asked to leave the community and have their residency terminated: 1) failure to pay rent within 30 days; 2) two or more late rent payments; 3) excessive, unnecessary damage to property and/or common assets; 4) behaviors that threaten the safety of other subtenants and guests, including sexual harassment, threats, and bullying.
I hereby agree to the above stated terms of residency.
Signature _ Date _